Chapter 32: Enlightenment

However, Yang Ming’s heart was really heavy. It was murder! This was fundamentally different from a usual brawl. From another perspective, whoever Yang Ming killed was an evil person who definitely deserved his death. If he wasn’t dead, he would have harmed many more people!

Carrying out justice for the world. What a funny phrase! Yang Ming did not consider himself a cold-blooded person, but he also wasn’t a hero! He could stand up for the weak, but as for carrying out justice and eliminating evil, these things should be left to the police!

At that time he was able to calmly fend for himself when he was in front of the police at the police station, but now, deep down in Yang Ming’s heart, a sense of fear had spread throughout his whole body!

Yang Ming felt as if both of his legs were weighed down by many metal rods; he couldn’t even take a single step.

“Yang Ming, are you okay?” Zhao Ying asked worriedly as she noticed Yang Ming’s pale face.

“Ah? Me… I am fine…” Yang Ming looked at Zhao Ying and smiled bitterly. People who hadn’t gone through what he had been through wouldn’t really know what he was feeling. In Zhao Ying’s and Headmaster Li’s eyes, Yang Ming had done a good deed. Even though he had killed a person, that person he killed was a terribly evil villain! Just like when we watched a movie, policemen shooting the villain was a reasonable thing in front of everyone’s eyes. Nobody had sympathy for the villain and everyone thought that he got what he deserved!

Yang Ming was not a policeman, but he was also not a serial killer. He was just a student who, of course, wasn’t psychologically prepared for this. Every time when he closed his eyes now, all he saw was Ji Shuisheng’s savage and pale face with blood dripping out of his nose.

“Yang Ming, give me a moment!” A voice came from behind. Apparently, it was Chen Fei. “Yang Ming, please wait for a while. There are a few more things that I would like to talk to you about. Headmaster Li, Teacher Zhao, you both may leave first. I will send Yang Ming back in a bit!”

“Alright, Captain Chen. Since you still have things to discuss, then I shall go back to school with Little Zhao first. You know I am busy and I can’t really leave my job but you must return my student in a good condition to his respective owner!” Headmaster Li smiled.

To his respective owner? Zhao Ying’s heart tighten. Did the headmaster figure it out already? Did these few days of interaction with Yang Ming already bring their relationship to cross the line from just teacher and student to sister and brother? Even though she was just a few years older than Yang Ming, every time it was Yang Ming who protected her. She seemed like a younger sister to Yang Ming. They could be considered as friends, but their closeness seemed to be a bit more than friends. Zhao Ying, herself, also was unsure of their relationship but when she heard what Headmaster Li said, her heart had some feelings which were hard to explain.

When Zhao Ying saw the calm expression on Headmaster Li, she knew that she was overthinking it.

“No worries Headmaster Li, you and Chief Wang are old classmates. If I were to do something to your student, Chief Wang would break my bones!” Chen Fei smiled.

After Headmaster Li and Zhao Ying boarded the school’s car, Chen Fei tapped on Yang Ming’s shoulder and said, “Young man, not feeling good, right? Come, let’s have a chat.”

“I…” Yang Ming didn’t know how Chen Fei had seen into his heart because right now at the police station, his appearance was pretty calm and cool.

“Hehe. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Come, let’s have a seat inside!” said Chen Fei as he pointed at a long bench inside the police station.

Yang Ming looked at Chen Fei and nodded. He quietly followed him. That’s right, Yang Ming really wanted to confide in someone. He wanted to share his feelings with Zhao Ying but ultimately didn’t say anything. On one hand, he was afraid how Zhao Ying was worried about himself. However, what was more important was that Zhao Ying would never understand Yang Ming’s feeling since she had never experienced it.

“Young man, how are you? Are you very scared?” Chen Fei leaned on the long bench, lit a cigarette and passed a cigarette to Yang Ming too.

Yang Ming didn’t know how Chen Fei knew that he smoked, but he took the cigarette without hesitation. He lit it, took a puff and slowly said, “I was very scared in the beginning, but now I am a lot better.” Yang Ming didn’t want Chen Fei to look down on him.

“Oh? Hehe. You are pretty capable, aren’t you? I don’t mind sharing with you. I remember when I first graduated from the police academy to start my first job. I fired a gunshot to kill some bad guys. After that, I puked for the remainder of the night. Moreover, I was still afraid of it after a week and had nightmares at night!” admitted Chen Fei as he patted Yang Ming’s shoulder.

“Captain Chen… I…” After Yang Ming heard that even Chen Fei himself as a policeman was like that, he could no longer suppress the pressure in his heart. “I am really scared! That night’s image keeps flashing in my mind. Even though I have attempted to control myself and not think about it, those images still come up beyond my control. It’s like it was carved into my brain!”

Chen Fei laughed heartily after listening to Yang Ming, “Young man, you are really not bad already. You were able to withstand it for such a long period of time. At least you weren’t timid when you were at the police station or else this big hero image would have been laughed at by the others! However, you also don’t have to feel like it was embarrassing. No matter who it is, when they kill a person for the first time, they would have felt that way. But you have to remember, you have just killed a villain, so you don’t really have to have any form of psychological burden; neither should you feel anything bad about your conscience! Think about it – a person like Ji Shuisheng – if you don’t kill him off sooner, wouldn’t he cause a lot more harm to society?”

“But… Captain Chen… even though we say it that way but these kinds of things – shouldn’t they be done by the police? If I could choose, I would rather choose not to kill Ji Shuisheng!” Yang Ming shook his head.

“Young man, that is the wrong way to think! You are a real man now; what’s done is done. Why would you regret it!? From the perspective of a police officer, those things are really supposed to be done by us. But look at it from another perspective. If on that day you chose to withdraw yourself, then Ji Shuisheng would have continued his villainy and the victims could have been your friend, classmates, teachers or even your family members! If the people around you were hurt, would you still regret it?” Chen Fei continued.

Yeah! Yang Ming nodded. If he had chosen to withdraw himself, then Ji Shuisheng would have been even more rampant. As long as he continued his crime in Song Jiang, the effect would be unbearable! If he imagined that a family member, Zhao Ying or even Chen Mengyan met him, then Yang Ming wouldn’t be able to forgive himself even he was to sacrifice himself!

As he thought about this, Yang Ming suddenly became optimistic. There was a trace of a smile on his mouth. “Thank you, Captain Chen! I am enlightened!”

“Yup, it’s good that you are enlightened. I’m not here to encourage you to kill people. But what I hope for is that whenever someone requires help, you would be able to stand up bravely!” Chen Fei put out the cigarette butt in his hand and told Yang Ming, “Young man, you are still a student. One or two cigarettes are fine. However, if you smoke too many of them, they would damage your body!”

“Understood Captain Chen! Thank you!” Yang Ming nodded his head sincerely.

“Let’s go. I will drop you back. Go and have good sleep tonight. Tomorrow, relax and attend school!” Chen Fei stood up and walked towards a police car.