Today was relatively peaceful. Everyone was focused on teaming up to run dungeons.

On the forest path to the west of Golden City, a group of 20 players headed toward the square. They were all over Level 60, with the highest being Level 63 and the lowest being Level 61. They were players of Asskickers United.

“Squatman, Watchful Snail wants us to bring along two Advanced Fire Resistance Potions. Someone is already on their way to deliver them to us,” Happy Hermit said. He was a Thief and the vice-leader of this team. One of his responsibilities was to pass on information.

Squatman was the nickname for their leader, Horny Potter Squatter.[1] He had no one to blame but himself for taking such a vulgar name.

“Huh, Advanced Fire Resistance Potions? Why?” Horny Potter Squatter asked in obvious confusion. He had done some research beforehand. To his knowledge, Fire Resistance Potions shouldn’t be needed in this dungeon.

“Apparently the Taboo Refinement skill of the Golden Forge Blacksmith does fire damage in addition to dark corrosion damage. Bringing along two Advanced Fire Resistance Potions will reduce the damage we take by 30%,” Happy Hermit explained. He was also puzzled initially before Guo Huai went into further detail.

“Wow, Watchful Snail sure is amazing. He even knows this sort of information!” Horny Potter Squatter said in surprise. After all, Golden City had only opened recently. They were only the second batch of Asskickers United players to run this dungeon. Usually these sorts of little details wouldn’t be discovered until hundreds or even thousands of runs later.

“It was probably Bladelight, Smoke Stub, and their team who figured it out, right?” Dancing Moon Fairy interjected. She was a Level 62 Priest, and ranked eigth among the Priests in Asskickers United.

“Yeah, probably...” Everyone in Horny Potter Squatter’s team had expressions of reverence on their faces.

Bladelight, Smoke Stub, and the others in the main team were legends in Asskickers United, their fame second only to that of Nie Yan. However, while Nie Yan rarely showed himself, the main team often brought along lower rank members along with them during dungeon runs. They nurtured batch after batch of talents, building up quite a bit of goodwill and respect. It was no wonder Horny Potter Squatter’s group believed only the main team could notice these small details that ordinary players would overlook. Little did they know that it was actually Nie Yan who passed down this information. Two Advanced Fire Resistance Potions could greatly enhance the success rate of teams running the Underground Mines.

Horny Potter Squatter’s group arrived at the square. As they made their way toward Golden City, they spotted three teams up ahead.

Horny Potter Squatter’s expression darkened. “They’re from Alliance of Mages.” He recognized a few faces.

With players becoming richer, many experts could easily afford to pay a 1 gold transfer fee. Players from all over the Viridian Empire were starting to head to dungeons far away from their home cities. Like Horny Potter Squatter and the others, Alliance of Mages was also sending their teams to Golden City.

Asskickers United and Alliance of Mages were opposing guilds. Both sides viewed each other as hated enemies. Conflicts arising between their players out in the wilderness was fairly common.

“Everyone, hold up,” Happy Hermit said. The other side outnumbered them three to one. It would be dangerous if they got surrounded.

Horny Potter Squatter’s group obeyed his command without question, halting their steps.

The Alliance of Mages players up ahead were standing on the transfer platform in front of the entrance of the dungeon. Once they activated the platform, they would be teleported into the Underground Mines.

A tall Warrior in golden armour appeared to be their leader. He split the group into three teams and explained a few things. Just as he was about to activate the platform, a short skinny Thief walked up and whispered into his ear, “Boss, a group of Asskickers United players just arrived.”

Asura raised an eyebrow. “Where?” He followed where the Thief’s finger was pointing and saw Horny Potter Squatter’s group walking over. Narrowing his eyes, he discovered the other side only had 20 players. They held an absolute advantage! Should they take action?

Asura didn’t have the authority to make the decision himself. He reported the situation to the executive guild leader of Alliance of Mages. Before long, he received the orders to wipe out Horny Potter Squatter’s group!

Asura immediately cancelled the teleport.

“Everyone, follow me,” Asura said. He and his players started aggressively walking towards Horny Potter Squatter’s group.

“They’re coming. Get ready to fight.” As Horny Potter Squatter stared at the leader of the group of players from Alliance of Mages, his heart trembled. “It’s Asura!”

Asura was pretty famous. He had already crossed paths with Asskickers United players on several occasions. The number of Asskickers United players who died at his hands surpassed 20 at minimum.

Asura was a nobody in the eyes of Bladelight, Smoke Stub, and the rest of the main team. However, in the eyes of Horny Potter Squatter’s group, he was a formidable opponent.

The atmosphere immediately became tense.

At Horny Potter Squatter’s orders, his team moved into formation. The Warriors positioned themselves at the forefront while the Mages occupied the high ground in the rear.

Horny Potter Squatter glanced at the enemy’s forces. He spotted 7 Thieves entering into stealth and disappearing from sight. “Mages, Priests, be careful!”

When the surrounding players noticed the atmosphere changing, they retreated to the sidelines.

“What are we going to do? We’re heavily outnumbered.” Happy Hermit knitted his brows.

“I’ve already informed Watchful Snail. We just have to hold out for a few minutes and reinforcements will arrive!” Horny Potter Squatter said. Battle was unavoidable. They could only do their best to survive.

Dancing Moon Fairy laughed. “Happy Hermit, Squatman, several of my friends from Sapphire Shrine are running the Underground Mines right now. They’ll be out very soon.”

“Sapphire Shrine? That’s great! But please, stop calling me Squatman,” Horny Squatter Potter said with a helpless expression.

Dancing Moon Fairy simply answered with a playful smile.

Asura glanced at Horny Potter Squatter’s team before finally settling his gaze on Happy Hermit.

“Long time no see,” Asura said with a dull smile.

“You two know each other?” Horny Potter Squatter asked in surprise.

“We used to run dungeons together all the time in a different game. That was a long time ago. It’s different now,” Happy Hermit explained with an awkward expression.

Asura definitely didn’t come with the intention of catching up with an old friend.

The players from both sides locked eyes. Battle could break out at any moment.

Taking advantage of their superior numbers, the players from Alliance of Mages closed in on Horny Potter Squatter’s group in a half circle.

Horny Potter Squatter’s group couldn’t flee. Else their formation would collapse, and they would suffer even heavier losses. It was better to stand their ground.

“Asskickers United trash, you won’t escape today,” one of the Thieves on the opposing side taunted.

“Who are you calling trash? I seem to recall it was your side that fled with their tails tucked between their legs during the Cripps Stronghold siege!” Horny Potter Squatter fired back.

“Y-y-you! Don’t get cocky! You guys just got lucky that time!”

Both sides immediately entered a shouting match, throwing out all sorts of vulgar insults.

Asura glanced around. The encirclement was already complete, and the Thieves had sealed off all escape paths. Time was of the essence. Not wanting to wait for Asskickers United’s reinforcements to arrive, he gave the signal. “Kill them!”

Several Warrior from Alliance of Mages rushed forward while the Mages raised their staffs and fired off a volley of spells.

“Warriors, hold your ground. Priests, Paladins, support them!” Horny Potter Squatter said, then turned to Happy Hermit and gave him a meaningful glance.

Happy Hermit nodded, then entered stealth. He and Horny Potter Squatter had known each other for so long, they no longer needed words to communicate. He knew exactly what Horny Potter Squatter wanted him to do.

“Don’t falter, we have reinforcements arriving soon. Fucking hell, if they want a fight, we’ll give it to them! If you end up dying, run back to your corpse!” Horny Potter Squatter said. He resolved to see this fight through to the bitter end.

A spell whizzed forward and struck one of the Warriors in Horny Potter Squatter’s team squarely in the chest. He was sent flying back before crashing into the ground.

Happy Hermit snuck around to the back of Alliance of Mage’s forces. He struck one of the Priests in the back of the head with Concussive Blow. The Priest collapsed dead on the ground several attacks later.

A shower of spells immediately bombarded Happy Hermit. On the brink of death, he quickly drank an Intermediate Heath Potion, then made his escape with Gale Step.

1. The characters for Horny Squatter’s name are 蹲坑思美女. A more literal translation would be Squatting on the Toilet Thinking About Pretty Girls. The first mental image that came to my mind The Thinker on a toilet. After asking around for a good name and at the behest of Ren, I decided to go with Horny Potter Squatter.